The Colón-Estefan Praise of Folly - Part 2

By JAQO

Miami, Florida

Originally, this editorial started with the following statement: "Thanks to that globalized beast of burden I like to call 'Osama Melo Lame,' there will be no Latin Grammy this year and we all should be grateful to him for sparing us the embarrassment." Unfortunately, not even the animalistic acts of such a human poseur could stop the incoming musical and socio-cultural mortification known as the Latin Grammy, whose second edition thankfully passed over like a silent odorless fart.

Perhaps most of you have been blessed with some type of ADD, narcotic or alcoholic induced memory loss that would allow you to forget the crappy initial version of this middling promotional event. If you recall, the first edition of this running commercial was marred by unheeded controversies that reminded the world why Simón Bolívar, in a letter to General Juan José Flores, November 9, 1830, stated that Latin America was ungovernable.

In the end, the best way to illustrate the folly of that show and the award itself would be the Tito Puente homage included in it. The television audience was spared the rampant disorganization and poor sound quality of the show, stereotypical among ethnic or race led events. Only insiders were aware of the fact, for example, that during the rehearsal for the tribute to the former King of Latin Music a pissed-off Santana walked off the stage and asked his musicians to do the same in order not to blight the memory of “El Rey del timbal.” Finally, a feminized and somewhat mumbling Ricky Martin tried to show some testosteronal “saoco” only to be upstaged by Gloria Estefan and Celia Cruz. It was actually quite funny: of the three divas onstage, only the ones without a penis showed some actual “cojones.” In reality, it is not funny at all!

At the tail end of the Willie Colón unsuccessful entitlement-laden efforts to subvert the first show, Emilio Estefan joined in stating the obvious through a Miami based publication called “Viernes.” Predictably, Emilio decided to call some of his critics and Willie in particular, left-wingers and Castro sympathizers. That, however, showed far-fetched cheek! One must have a gargantuan intellectual backwardness to merely dismiss his critics by sloganizing their views à la Cold War era. “Me Republican good, you leftist pig bad,” said while scratching testicles for dramatic effect… That, nonetheless, closed the loop on the Colón-Estefan praise of folly as Willie continued his unsuccessful and questionable foray into politics in which he is currently mired. Emilio, of course, moved to bigger and better things, such as the second Latin Grammy.

As soon as the second version of the Latin Grammy was in the public offing, the world was treated to yet another lesson in the folly of the inherent Balkanization of the retarded cultural wars that foil the progress and development of Hispanics in the U.S. and Latin America in general. Once again, the organizers of the event dared to continue preserving the mistaken notion that Miami is some sort of Latin music haven. Initially, the second edition of the Latin Grammy was to be held in Miami but the ensuing uproar by the local vocal minority forced a move to LA. Expecting otherwise is also proof of folly and Emilio is just as responsible for that one as anyone else for that international mistake. Be aware of the fact that Miami looks good on camera and it lends itself for marketing purposes, but this is not a stronghold of any type of Latin music. It is actually quite an unmusical place. When it comes to Cuban music, you are better off in New York and the West Coast, unless you want to hear second-rate stuff or attend mediocre venues. 

The Cuban community in Miami is not to be expected to be wholly or even solely interested in Cuban or Latin music. They listen and dance to whatever the hell they want and that is the way it should be. The Cuban community in Miami should not be expected to sit idly by if Cuban musical acts from the island are expected to perform in such a media-grabbing event as the Latin Grammy. It all boils down to strategic matters. Why would you expect a Palestinian band to be welcomed in Israel? Why would you expect a KKK rap group to be sponsored by the NAACP? Well, if you bring any group here to Miami from Cuba to a private venue, odds are that hardly anyone will give a shit. Nevertheless, if you know that you are going to attract international attention you would be hard pressed not to take advantage of such an opportunity to raise your concerns one way or the other. You and I might disagree on whether or not such a vocal minority actually represents the actual Cuban community in South Florida, but they, as Emilio, have much less cultural power than you might believe.

Once the show was moved out of Miami, Osama Melo Lame took care of the rest. The show organizers could not make up their minds as to whether to have a show or not, until they had that token ceremony to give out their promotional awards. Such is the reality behind all the anti-Estefan hysteria, Miami, the castroites, the leftoids, the rightoids and all of us thinking beings caught in the middle.

Please, do us all a favor and do not take any awards seriously, as none are. 

 

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